Of Light and Dark
by SpacemanSpiff
Summary: [FFIV] This is a short story (aka one-shot) detailing the moments after Cecil enters the shrine on Mt. Ordeals. Enjoy!


**A/N:** So I dug up some of my old writing from over a decade ago, and decided that some of it wasn't half bad. This is a chapter from the FFIV novelization that I started way back in the day, and it covers Cecil's transformation on Mt. Ordeals. I spruced it up a little and decided to repost it as a short story. Should be a quick and easy read. I hope you enjoy!

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 **Of Light and Dark**

 _A Final Fantasy IV Short Story_

 _By SpacemanSpiff_

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He could feel the light surrounding him, keeping him tucked in its warm folds as it guided him further into the shrine. Although he was blind to the path before him, his eyes were soothed by the generous luminescence that bathed him, cleansing his features as he glided through an endless space of pure white. He didn't even feel like moving, the sensations were too great to even think of anything else. The strange light was still inside of him, pulling him into this abounding bliss, taking him where he couldn't even imagine. He didn't care where it was taking him, his mind not even straying from the thought of the wonderful feeling he had inside. The warmth was something he felt like he knew, a past life he had once experienced and yet he couldn't conjure a single memory of it. So foreign and yet so familiar.

As the light slowly changed directions, directing him downwards, Cecil looked down to see a brilliant crystal floor making its way up at him. As they got closer and closer, the white light around him started to fade into a likeness to the floor, building a room that began to seem all too familiar. The light stopped him before his feet touched the crystal tiles below, the final form of the room around him taking shape. His eyes went wide and his heart skipped beats as he watched himself lead a group of soldiers against a few helpless wizards. The fear in their eyes as the blades of his men tore through them was enough to rip his heart out and kick it across the floor. He felt a stinging cold prick every inch of his skin as he watched this vision.

He tried to close his eyes to keep the pain from sinking in any further, but the light forced them open again as the Elder was forced against the wall, the sharp edge of a sword to his throat. As he watched himself walk to the crystal bed, retrieving his prize for the slaughter of these people, he felt tears trying to burst from his eyes, yet something kept them inside, and the pressure began to build against his temples. He wanted to be let go, wanted the light to drop where he was so he could stop this senseless scene from happening again, but he soon found he could not even move. The light was binding his hatred.

To further dishearten him, the knight that walked back stood right in front of him, the helmet casting a shadow over his face as Cecil looked down on him. His mind was struck hard as the dark knight lifted its head to face him, and his eyes were nothing but a deep black emptiness, pure evil. A gasp of terror escaped Cecil's lips, and he felt his heart twist in agony.

With this memory impressed ever deeper upon his soul, the room vanished in a swirling array of vivid colors. He was once again plunged into the purifying light that he enjoyed so much before, but it didn't bring the same comfort now. He no longer dazed at the wonderful sensations that coursed through his body, the temptation to get sucked into a mindless bliss slipping further from him. The light once again began to lower him further into the vast white, his eyes wandering cautiously for more haunting visions to come.

He caught sight of something below him, another world he was being dropped into. At first it was just a green haze, an incomprehensible static that only stood to confuse him, but once again as he got closer it all started to come together. The small, highly decorative houses that scattered about the lush green accompanied by the calm, peaceful people walking through was a hard scene to watch as he knew all too well what was about to happen. Just as before he was lowered just above the grass, his feet not allowed to touch the earth. Once more, his past was repeated before him, leaving him to witness what he never thought he would have to see again.

With a swift flash of light, the two knights stood before him facing away into the town, one of dark armor and the other of a dragoon. As if to make his torture even worse, the two knights slowly turned to face him and the sight was enough to push him over the edge. Each of their eyes held that same darkness as the scene before, a penetrating stare that left Cecil with nothing inside to hold on to. A wicked smile crossed each of their faces as another brilliant flash of light ignited the village, the once peaceful green now cast in the color of fire. The screams rang out, drilling through his ears, slamming his psyche with all of their suffering.

The two knights continued to stand before him with their devilish smiles, their eyes burning as intense as the flames they had engendered. Once again Cecil had the compelling urge to break free and destroy them both, and once again he was held tight from the inside. The flames seemed to bear down on him, scorching him through his dark armor while the two knights before him watched with apparent glee at his pain, but then something happened that threw everything off.

"Mommy! No!"

Cecil heard the familiar scream float over the raging inferno devouring the village, and as it rang in his ears the scene immediately vanished, quickly taking him to the aftermath of all the carnage. He gazed from above at the little child lying unconscious on the bed of grass next to the newly formed mountains that had once been her home. He could only imagine what evil was going to lurk out of this vision and wreak havoc on his already scarred mind.

To his surprise he noticed he was nowhere to be seen, although he remembered being right next to her when he woke up. Then he saw coming towards her, a blurred mass of light at a distance that began to slowly take form. It eventually took the shape of a man walking softly through the short grass towards the little green-haired angel that lay defenseless. Cecil felt that it was not evil, the warm feeling flowing strong inside of him as he watched the man's blurred features slowly come into focus. When it all became clear, Cecil reeled in shock as he saw himself, surrounded by a holy energy, kneeling down over the child's body.

He looked so different, his armor was a radiant white and gold mixture that gave off a warm glow and brightened everything around him. His silver hair was shining with an astounding brilliance in the light as it hung freely over his shoulders. He wouldn't have believed it was him if the knight hadn't looked up at him, their eyes making contact for a moment that stopped time. His eyes were filled with sparkling blue oceans, seas of uncontaminated virtue and compassion. As their stare broke away, Cecil watched the man pick up the child and carry her off towards Kaipo, their mixed mass becoming a blur as they trailed off into the never-ending white, his eyes never straying from them even as they disappeared.

It all faded away as the curtain of white was drawn over it, leaving the immeasurable space to his eyes once more. He felt empty, as though his soul had just be dragged through the pits of hell and back. To his dismay he was again lowered into the infinite light below. He didn't want to look down to see what was coming, but he did nonetheless, watching the bed of white below, waiting for it to change into some horrible nightmare.

His eyes caught sight of a small dark circle below him, standing out against the bright backdrop surrounding it. The light guided him directly over the spot until his feet were just about to touch it. Then it let go. The light released its grip on his heart, effortlessly flowing from his chest into the infinite beyond as he fell to the floor.

As his feet touched the spot he immediately felt weak, falling to a knee, bracing himself with a hand on the ground. His head hung low as he awaited his judgement, his eyes shut tight as he had wanted to do ever since the visions had started. The surroundings changed smoothly, as if a new light had been turned on, revealing the true nature of the inner shrine. His strength started to slowly seep back into his already aching muscles and the air found its way into his lungs which seemed to crave it as if they have been deprived of their sustenance. His watered-down eyes crept open, letting the glassy drops fall to the crystal tile beneath him, his vision blurred by the wet film of his tears.

He quickly shut his eyes and shook the sadness from them, leaving it the cold floor as he slowly rose to his feet. Glancing at his newfound surroundings he came to see the small round room, walls and floors made completely of crystal tile except for the wall that stood before him. Directly in front of him was a grid of mirrors, his reflection staring back at him coldly. The ceiling extended into darkness, its heights impossible to comprehend. Cecil didn't even notice that his friends were right behind him, letting their arms down from their eyes as the light had faded away.

"Dude, we're inside," Palom whispered excitedly to his sister next to him.

"Palom, can't you just-"

Porom was cut short as the light returned, brighter than ever, sending them cowering behind their arms. Cecil was the only one not affected by this phenomenon, his eyes seeing perfectly well the small ball of light that had appeared outside before, dancing between him and the mirrors. But he was no longer curious of the light, knowing well of what it had put him through only moments ago. Some part of him wanted to leave it behind, leave the shrine and forget whatever it had to offer. Whatever power it could give him didn't seem enough to suffer so much.

He was startled when its voice rang clear as day in his ears, yet barely sounded higher than a whisper. It was like the voice was solely meant for him, to be heard by his ears alone, a language only comprehendible to his mind.

"I have been waiting for you..." the strong, quiet voice washed over him.

"Who are you?" Cecil called out to the bobbing friar's lantern.

"Sadness fills me..." it returned, an obvious hint of gloom behind its tone as it spoke, "I shall entrust you with my power, yet my sorrow will only grow..."

"What does that mean?"

"This is the only way left," the light answered before it shot up into the endless darkness above, disappearing completely.

"Wait!" Cecil cried as he dashed forward where the light had once been hovering, looking up into the never-ending black above him. For a moment he thought it was over, that he had failed the test somehow, leaving him with nothing to go back to.

The room was suddenly consumed by the ceiling's shade. All was encased in darkness, except for a single beam of light that rained down on Cecil's solitary figure, drowning out everything else around him. He was immediately filled with that pleasurable warmth he had felt before, yet it was so much stronger, the light surrounding him seemingly seeping into his soul, touching his heart with a gentle hand.

It was an utterly amazing feeling as the blanket wrapped tight around him fed him with an incredible energy. His senses were so blinded by the surge of power that he didn't notice the light eating away at his armor. The dark plates began to crack slowly, light peeking through from beneath it, tearing it apart from the inside out. Even more distracting to him was the shadow descending on him from above, a slender shape that he couldn't make out at first. As it came closer he reached out to touch it only to find his fingers guided around the hilt of a mighty sword.

Upon grasping the sword, he received his another rush of power, and his mind, which had been racing furiously, tracing every moment of his life from beginning to end, went completely blank. It was as if he had been stripped down to his raw emotions, and it caused him to release a primal roar to the heavens. His screams pierced the darkness around him, his helmet split down the middle, the light tearing it in half, and as the pieces fell to the ground his dull silver hair became radiant under the holy light and streamed elegantly down his back. The rest of his armor shattered as well, the pieces falling from his enlightened body to the darkness that swallowed the floor around him.

The light continued to shower him for a moment as Cecil's screams faded away, leaving his shimmering blue eyes shedding tears of joy down his face, the crystalline droplets twinkling as they descended to the floor. The pillar of light slowly lifted from around his body, the darkness lifting from the room as everything returned to normal. But now, even as the light was gone, he still felt the warmth deep inside of him, powering his newly acquired righteousness.

He brought the sword that had fallen into his hand down to his face as he marveled at its beauty. The ivory handle was graced by swirling patterns of gold which flowed into the end of the handle, creating a rounded, golden pommel. The veins of shimmering gold split off at the top of the hilt, curling towards the blade which, in itself, was awe inspiring. It had its own soothing glow to it, the white light radiating like a soft reflection. On one side of the blade was a long inscription that nearly ran up to the acuminate tip. Before he could even try to read it, the resplendent spirit appeared before him again.

"Leave your bloodied past behind..." it spoke to him, a stern commanding tone behind it that urged Cecil to listen. "You must purge your tainted soul with this light."

The dancing apparition wavered for a moment before it bolted through the mirrors and into the reflection that was behind it...the reflection of Cecil as a dark knight. He was perplexed by the sight as he stared down at his cloth garments that were under his old armor, the pieces of which had been devoured when the darkness left. He then glanced back at the mirrors, still witnessing the man on the other side wearing the very darkness he had strived so hard to leave behind. He didn't understand why the mirrors didn't reflect his new image, his new Paladin face. Even more startling was when the reflection began to move on its own, no longer restricted by his own movements.

"To fully embrace this holy power," the voice continued, filling the room with its essence. "You must destroy the dark knight that you once were."

In a brief flash of light the dark knight passed through the mirrors, sending a ripple through the wall as its shadow-born body set foot upon the crystal floor. Cecil was standing face to face with his past, this single moment bringing out the two completely different sides of his struggle against himself. Without hesitation, the dark knight standing before the newly enlightened Cecil began to draw its black sword, prepared to destroy his counterpart.

Cecil's features immediately changed as he saw the knight before him hold its sword out, threatening him with its darkness. He knew what he had to do, and he responded by holding out his own sword, its holy glow devouring any darkness that touched it. They stood motionless in that state for a moment, the tips of their swords pointed menacingly at each other, a mirror image of light and dark.

The dark knight was the first to make a move as it rushed at Cecil with a fierce speed, the attack almost too quick to block. The swords, born of opposite hearts, clashed wildly as the sparks flew, scattered in the air before raining down on the two sparring knights. Cecil's face was calm, yet his mind raced as he could not make good use of his new energy, the feeling of a foreign mind over his own body. He struggled to counter his old moves as they came at him faster and faster, the walls around them ignited with the brilliant flash of light that exploded at each strike of their blades. As the dark knight lifted its sword high in the air, preparing to deal a strong blow, a quiet whisper swept through Cecil's ear.

 _...you must find your light..._

Thrown off by the mysterious voice, Cecil nearly found his skull split open where he stood, but his arm moved with an amazing speed and the blades met just above his head, the sparks lighting up his eyes. For that moment he was able to see under the dark knight's helmet, and he saw the essence of evil that he had seen earlier, its empty eyes showing no emotion. The darkness that had rested deep inside of him was now staring him down, without any regrets for the suffering it had caused.

This fueled something that pushed him to the very limits of his abilities as he lifted the blade away from his face and pushed it back at his dark past. The dark knight continued to advance on him as Cecil gave all he had to keep it back, their blades crossed together between them as they locked themselves in a power struggle. Neither gave any ground as their adverse energies caused the ground beneath their feet to tremble and the sound of grinding steel scratched the walls. For a moment, Cecil was unsure if he could defeat this, the nightmare he had been fighting his whole life. His friends behind him were just as worried as they came running to his aid.

"Cecil!" they all screamed in unison, their voices breaking through to his ears. He turned his head slightly as he caught sight of them making their way towards him. He knew he couldn't endanger them by involving them in this, especially against an opponent only he could destroy.

"Do not interfere! This fight is mine alone!" Cecil yelled back at them, a commanding force behind his voice that propelled it through their ears quickly. They stopped dead in their tracks, victims of the unseen cockatrice that his voice had summoned. He turned back to face the dark eyes peering through him, and it enraged him.

"I must atone for my past!" he roared at the darkness inside of him, the darkness standing before him. "I must conquer my own darkness!"

Among the millions of things pouring into his mind as he locked swords with his darker half, Cecil began to think of everything he had done during his life recently. The painful realization of his dark deeds in Mysidia continued to bring him heartache as well as those in Mist, the countless lives taken under his hand. He had committed these horrible crimes against humanity, regardless of his will, and they would never go away, never be parted from his conscience. The darkness was beginning to seep into his mind again, he could feel it pushing with everything it had to break down his walls and tear him apart. He tried desperately to fight back, knowing that he couldn't let it have his heart, the one light he knew he had inside of him. And his mind shifted to a whole new beat, a dawning of revelation washing over him.

 _That's it!_

He had suddenly understood what he was looking for, the light inside of him that he was trying to find. His mind flipped through scenes of his gentle nature showing through in every aspect of his darkness. As the fire swallowed Rydia's home, he was there to save her, to take her from harm's way and give her a life she might have otherwise never had. He had sacrificed all of his strength to carry her through valleys and across deserts to Kaipo to ensure her safety. He then remembered the scene that the light had shown him, of the white knight that he had become, picking her up from the rubble of her incredible magic. That was the man that he wanted to be…no, that he _needed_ to be. His heart swelled with light at every beat, a pure emotion from his natural conscience that radiated the holy light within him.

The dark knight before him suddenly started to weaken, its stance not as strong as it had been as Cecil began to push even harder than before. Cecil's feet slowly moved forward as he began to send the darkness backwards towards the wall of mirrors. He was thinking about the light he had found inside, his new strength that would help him prevail over his past. Everyone he had helped, everyone that he had vowed to save and protect: Edward, Yang, Rydia, and...

 _Rosa!_

His thoughts clamped down on her image as soon as her name had crossed his mind. She was all that he lived for at this very moment, the singular constant of his world. An even stronger warmth coursed through him now, his heart pouring out his emotions as they ran throughout his body. She was the key to his light, the reason why he had any goodness in his heart. She brought out the best in him and made him give everything he had to make things right in the world. He thought of how lost he would be now without her in his life, how deep into darkness he would have fallen without her grace to lift him up in his weakest moments. She was the purest element of his light, and it brought it all out of him as his body began to glow in harmony with that of his sword.

The dark knight almost seemed to break down as Cecil's radiant aura devoured him, and Cecil was able to easily push it back, almost running it through the mirrors. The dark knight quickly lost its footing as it fell hard on its back. Cecil stood over it with his sword pointed at its dark helmet, ready to slice it clean through. But the fight was far from over as the dark knight quickly struck Cecil's sword aside. It just as swiftly found its feet again and tried to take a swing at him.

Cecil easily stepped aside as time seemed to slow down for him, allowing him to see the attacks coming before they ever reached him. The dark knight came around for another strong swing aiming to take Cecil's head from his body, but he jumped back effortlessly out of harm's way. Cecil couldn't help but smile as he watched his dark past furiously try and attack him, its arms now far too weak, its movement too slow to touch the dark blade to his flesh. He had defeated it mentally, the darkness clearly forced back by the barricade of his uplifted conscience.

He could see his former self getting weaker as it stumbled backwards a few steps after missing another swing. Cecil stood confident as the dark knight slowly regained its balance, its stance giving the impression that it was beyond exhausted. The three standing behind Cecil watched with astonished eyes as he stood before them, not even trying against the evil that had nearly killed him only moments before, his body giving off enough holy light to fill the room with its warmth. But what the Paladin saw next caused his face to fall into terror as the dark knight drew back its sword, the blade already beginning to glow strong with its evil energy as it prepared to unleash a wave of darkness.

"No! You'll kill us all!" Cecil tried to reason with the shadowed warrior, but he could see that it had every intention of releasing a powerful surge of dark energy. Cecil simply stood firm in front of his friends, not completely sure what he was going to do, only that he somehow had to protect them. "I will not allow you to hurt them as well!"

The dark knight swept his blade through the air sending the massive wave of dark energy towards them, the entire shrine shaking from the force it carried. Cecil simply put his free hand out in front of him, letting his newly acquired mind act on its own. Behind him, Tellah had already thrown himself and his robes over the two children in an attempt to protect them. Cecil shut his eyes the second before the wave hit him, and his head became unnaturally clear, an echoing ring of tranquility before the monsoon rushed through him.

When the wave struck his hand, it stopped. It didn't move any farther past the spot he was standing, as if he were holding a wall that was about to collapse. Tellah looked up for a moment to witness the extraordinary phenomenon, the godly essence of his friend surrounded by a raging darkness. Even more astounding was when the wave began to shrink in the palm of Cecil's hand, slowly becoming smaller and smaller until it was simply a black dot, hissing on his skin.

Cecil opened his eyes to find the dark knight taking the toll for the maneuver as it fell to its knees in pain. Cecil crushed what was left of the darkness in his hand, doing away with it completely, leaving no trace that the attack had ever happened. He stared at his hand in wide wonder for a moment until he noticed the knight before him slowly getting back to its feet. As it stood up it pulled its sword back again, preparing to unleash the same attack once again. Cecil's face turned to anger, a fury burning deep in his eyes as he realized just what he was facing…a mindless evil. For some reason it dredged up a memory of his former friend.

 _Kain..._

Kain had meant so much to him throughout his life. Growing up with him was what made it enjoyable back then. He couldn't imagine going through life without him, but somehow they had ended up on opposite sides, and he realized that every person makes their choices in life. He knew all too well that the temptations could be strong to fall into darkness. This conflict was clearly reflected before him, as he watched the very darkness he had once been, trying so hard to destroy everything in its way. Kain had chosen to follow a path that cared not for the innocent lives of this world, only his own personal gain and lust for power. It put a knot in his stomach to realize that a day might come when he would have to kill his best friend, if only to free him from having to suffer the lives of others on his conscience. Cecil pushed through the guilt that this wrought within him, as he swore to himself that no more innocent lives would have to suffer under the evil of others.

"You will never take another innocent life again!" Cecil screamed as he bolted at the dark knight, sword readied to strike as he closed in on the evil manifestation. Their swords moved in unison towards each other, the mirror between them showing through as the blades clashed together at their midpoint. In the dazzling splash of sparks that ensued, the dark sword shattered under the holy light that Cecil wielded, the enchanted blade sending shadowed pieces of steel into the wall as the rain of ignited metal fell all around them. The explosion of power behind the blow sent the dark knight to the ground, defenseless without its sword. Cecil stood over it once more, a blazing rage filling him, overflowing to the point that he wanted to end it right then and there. As he lifted his sacred sword high in the air, preparing to deliver the fatal blow, the light spoke to him once more.

... _justice is not brought about by might_...

Cecil stopped cold, his sword still high above his head, his face quickly draining of everything that had built up within it. His anger flushed from his mind as he realized just what the light had spoken to him. It was the hatred that built in him like this that led to darkness, and that was why the light had held him before when he wanted so bad to destroy what it was showing him. Hatred was the root to his dark side, and the evil that he was fighting was simply its physical manifestation. His hands fell to his side as he saw the dark knight with its hand outstretched begging for mercy.

Mercy…the pit of all his evil was asking for mercy. Cecil reached out and grabbed the dark knight's hand, picking it up to stand before him. The cold darkness beneath the helmet brightened a bit, a smile crossing its sharp lips before everything beneath the armor became a shadow, lifting off the ground slightly as it was pulled into the mirrors, the bobbing ball of light within it staying behind at Cecil's face. As the dark knight passed through the mirrors they all went completely black, giving off no reflection, just an empty black void.

"Cecil...my son..." the light softly spoke to him, the harsh tone he had heard before diminished. "One day, you will understand."

"What is it that I have to understand?" Cecil pleaded for some explanation of his new enlightenment.

"You will learn in time. For now you must take the last of my power...my final light..." the bobbing light seemed to be getting weaker as its voice faded further and further away. "My son…you must...stop Golbez..."

With that, the light slowly made its way up to the mirrors as it prepared to pass through. Just before it disappeared, it seemed to stop for a moment, as if it were looking back at Cecil, admiring him, like a father does to his son. It then passed into the boundless black behind the mirrors and vanished. Cecil dashed to puzzle-pieced glass as he cried out for what he still could not understand.

"Wait! Don't leave me!" he called after it as he ran up to the blank wall of mirrors. When his hand touched it, a divine light shot into his body, and a cascade of warm energy was poured over him. The room was engulfed in a variety of vivid colors as they all washed over the walls and danced around the floor, each color being absorbed into Cecil's being, his mind filled with the clarity of his newfound power. As the last ray of the most intense white light filled his heart and soul, he knew at that moment that he had become a Paladin.


End file.
